Hope turned her back to the mirror and sighed. She knew what she would find. Empty emerald eyes would stare back at her. They where once so full of life, but now only hurt and bitterness remained. She slipped into her shoes and made her way down stairs.
"Ma" she called, "I'm going to go for a walk. Do you need me to do anything before I go?"
"No sweetheart, but thanks for the offer."
Hope stepped out the back door to find a beautiful day. She smiled and made her way to the small pond that sat at the edge of their property. She loved sitting on the dock and letting her feet dangle in the water. This was where she did all of her thinking. She sat there in deep contemplation.
Suddenly, a big hand touched her shoulder and Hope let out a cry and almost fell into the water.
"Whoa there, dear. I didn't mean to scare ya", her Pa said as he pulled her safely away from the dock's edge.
Hope smiled with relief "I didn't even hear you come up behind me" she said
"I can see that" Pa chuckled
Hope made a playful slapped on his arm and smiled.
"You've had me kind of worried" Pa said.
"I know and I'm sorry for that. I've just had a lot on my mind."
"Would ya like to talk about it?"
Hope turned and looked at her Pa. He had been the towns pastor for as far back as she could remember. He was tall and broad. She could remember being a little girl and curling up in his arms. She had felt safe there. Oh if only she could be that small again.
"Pa, do you ever have trouble letting go of hurt and fear", Hope asked?
He turned and looked at her. "Well, Hope, I think we all have that in our lives. We just have to find a place where we can let it go and the best place for it to be, is in God's hands."
Hope sighed. "I know but it's so hard!"
Pa reached up and wiped the tear that ran down her cheek. He pulled her into his arms.
"Hope can I ask you something?"
"Yes Pa," Hope replied.
"Does this have to do with Andrew?"
"It does."
Hope hated to admit it. She had met Andrew in town one day. She was 18 then. He was 26 and the town's new doctor. He had served in the Navy as a medical doctor for 6 years. He loved his job, it had always been his dream in life. She never understood why he had chosen to come to small town of Trenton, Kentucky to set up practice. Some things would never have an answer. He had seemed so wonderful. He was a gentleman and very respectable. He loved people, but she soon found out that he didn't love God.
"Do you regret not marrying him?" Pa asked
"No" Hope whispered. "I just wish Andrew would have found the love and joy that I have with Jesus."
"I know dear, but one thing is sure."
"Whats that", Hope asked.
"He loved you and that, in and of itself, means that he's a good man."
"Oh Pa," Hope cried, "I loved him, too, and thats what hurts so much."
"I know." Pa held her close and let her cry. This was something that she'd been needing to do for a while now.
"Pa?" she asked
"Yes, Hope?"
"Do you think I can ever love again? I mean the way I loved Andrew."
"Hope" Pa said. "I believe when the right one comes along, you will love him even more than you loved Andrew."
"You really think so,Pa?"
"I don't think so, I know so" Pa tweaked her nose and smiled.
Hope sighed. "But Pa, part of me is scared when it comes to marriage."
"Why is that," he asked?
"Because it's hard. There's worry, tears, arguments, and... well, like I said,... it's hard work."
Pa laughed. "That it is, my dear, but even when your single, it's the same. Life is hard. It's not just in marriage. But it's those hard times that make us strong and build our faith. If we never had hard times, we would never be able to enjoy the good times. "
"You know what, Pa," Hope asked?
"What?"
"You're right." Hope stood up and smiled at her Pa.
"Do you feel better," he asked?
"Yes Pa, much better." Hope reached out and hugged him. "Pa, I love you."
"I love you, too, dear."
He stood there and watched as Hope made her way back to the house.
"Lord, she's going to fall in love with the man you have created just for her, one day. She'll get married and have kids of her own." He reached up and wiped the tears off his face. "Lord, give me strength because I'm sure gonna miss her!"
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Hope stood in front of the hole she had just dug. She bent down and placed the small box inside. She had filled it last night after her talk with her pa. It had all of her and Andrew's pictures and letters of over 2 years ago inside. A tear slid down her face and she wiped it off with the back of her hand. She picked up a handful of dirt and let it fall on top of the box.
"I will never forget you Andrew and one day, I pray, you'll find true love, and that love is found only in Jesus" Hope whispered.
She stood up and shoveled the rest of the dirt in the hole.
"I'm finally able to hope again," she said through her tears.
"Goodbye Andrew."
Hope turned and walked away.
It was time to go on with her life.
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There Is Always Hope
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