"How to avoid marrying a Jerk" is a book that I have finished reading, and taking some of its advice to my college and career class.

I believe that some of us "wiser and grayer" (according to dlubow) may have some wisdom and advice for those who are single.

One piece of advice was that too many single people share too much of themselves while they are dating (especially over the internet), and don't spend enough time together and speaking with each other............basically, becoming best friends before marriage.  I believe that a couple should be best friends before marriage and should be ready to work for the Lord as a team.

Any thoughts on this??

Amen Sis C.   One day at a time sweet Jesus, is best advice for dating, take your time learning the one you are dating.  You did not learn to walk in a day, or talk in a day. 

Great relationships are built over time, building one block at a time.  I can tell you all of my wife's likes and dislikes,  I can tell you details from day one of dating, as I learned.  We are best of friends, there is trust, because we believe in our friendship our marriage.

It is great having the right person, and you have know doubts, it is froim God.

One thing from the book (and I agree with this) is about internet dating.  People open themselves up to complete strangers without spending enough quality time together before marriage.  This means that anything can be said over the internet, and people really need to be with each other to really get to know more about the other person.

I really do think that meeting people over the internet is great..........and it is a wonderful tool for Apostolic singles to meet each other, as it is difficult for many singles in small churches to marry.

But, we must be mindful that the internet is only a tool (like the telephone) to communicate with each other, but not the basis for the whole entire dating relationship.

It is like our relationship with God.  We can spend time in church, read the Bible, help the poor, etc........but, not spend any quality time in communicating with Him.

Just a few thoughts.

yeh we met over the net and we are old brother and sister,

Hey since I have a couple of grey ones on my head, does that make me wiser???  I think it does   LOL

Too many singles are too quick into getting married, they forget why they are getting married in the first place.  You dont want someone who is just going to help with the bills and take out the trash.  You want a soul mate.  You want someone you know will better you and you better him.  If you cant bring out the best in someone it probably is not the one.  I want someone who will push me into being the best i can be.  Also, my parent always told me "Love has nothing to do with it".  I never understood it until I got "older".  When bills are piling, money is short, one of you lost your job, and the kids are fighting you need your best friend.  Not that I dont agree with quick marriages.... If its Gods Will and everyone is sure, then no sense in waiting....  but no shame in taking your time to get to know someone.  And you dont have to accept every single invite from every single man either.  Just because you dont want to be single.  Your Mr/Mrs. Right may have passed you by.  Take your time

Ok, enough of my novel   LOL  God bless

I know that my husband and I were married within a year after we met, but.........I felt that he was my best friend, and a lot of prayer went into the relationship as to if we were to be together or not.

One thing that I felt that I did correctly, was thinking with my head....and not just on emotions.

Love is blind, and it takes a lot of prayer, listening to advice from friends, family, pastor, etc. before jumping into marriage.

One thing that disturbs me in Apostolic churches is that many young girls think that they need to be married by the age of 18, or else they will end up being single for the rest of their lives.  I believe that perception is slowly changing especially in our metro churches, where many more of our young people are going to college, and or obtaining job skills.

In my college/careers class, we have had some good discussions over questions that we need to ask about ourselves and a potential mate before getting engaged......and why an engaged couple should be best friends.  It is very interesting as to the feedback that I get from these young adults.

I hope some young singles join us on this subject.

Hey now.....  I am still young    and from when i checked last still single   LOL

There are alot more singles in my church going after education first.  And I am happy to see that they are focusing on something other than looking for a husband in every corner.  Granted it would be nice to find the man of your dreams and sweep you off of your feet and get married.  However, I for one was meant to be in school.  God has me where I am for a reason.... whatever that may be :).....  But just being there the Lord has allowed me to be in many, many things....  I am the Editor and Chief of the yearbook, head of the planning committee, and campus ministry.  I have been able to reach alot of people.  I will never know if the seed fell on good ground or not, but I was able to reach those people and that is what God has intended.  And when I graduate I will be able to reach so many more people that most in my church wont.  Doctors and nurses.  You know us single girls could always end up bringing those good lookin docs into the church   :)   LOL.....    So anyway,,,,,  I am so for people furthering their education. 

Well, it seems to be almost a necessity to either have a job skill or college education in order to be marketable for the job market.  And I am so glad to see many of our singles taking advantage of further education or obtaining skills before they get married and/or having children.

I am one that just received my bachelor's degree 2 1/2 years ago.  Many my age are working on their degrees while trying to work and support their families.  It isn't easy.  But, our economy has forced this change upon us, and even many ministers (and especially missionaries) are finding that they also need the extra education (especially degrees in counseling) in order to be more useful for their congregations and/or able to work a second job as many of ministers work in small and/or home mission works.

I am so glad that you are reaching out in campus ministry.  That must be so rewarding.  Especially with foreign students, as they are in such need of friends while being in a strange environment and away from their families.  I have so many foreign friends from various job positions that I have held, and from living the military life.

Keep an eye out for the rich docs!!!!lol

The easiest way to not marry a jerk is to stay single!!

Ain't that the truth!  But, alas, many people (like myself) want to marry.  I thank God that He gave me the best hubby in the world!